


Painkiller

by TheOrgasmicSeke



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Humanstuck, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, is it red?, it could be, it might be, you take it as you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 16:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1824409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOrgasmicSeke/pseuds/TheOrgasmicSeke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can be your painkiller. You'll love me till it's all over. I'm the shoulder you cry on, the dose that you die on."<br/>Before John, there was Sollux. Before Sollux, there was Eridan. Before Eridan, there was Terezi. And before Terezi, there was Gamzee. In fact, there was always Gamzee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Painkiller

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jean_huh_kirschnickerdoodle/gifts).



> When I heard [this](http://youtu.be/-U98qkjbYek) song, It immediately screamed GamKar to me. Pale, red, black, it doesn't matter. This song is GamKar. So I highly suggest you listen to it before reading this or while reading this. 
> 
> I wrote this while in a funk so I doubt it's up to par with the rest of my writing but eh, this funk has made me not care to much. So I apologize now for any bad spelling or grammar. I tried to fix it all but I'm sure there's stuff I missed.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Dedicated to my moirail.

  
_I know what you want so desperately_   
_You know I'll give you one for free_   
_Forever you're coming back to me_   
_Now I'm gonna give you what you need_   
_'Cause I know what you feed on and what you lean on_

* * *

Every light in the apartment was off when he came home which wasn't too strange considering it was almost midnight. But it was still a little weird that Karkat hadn't left the hallway light on for him like he always did. He took his time in removing his purple shoes, placing them next to the red converses of his best friend and roommate. He slipped off his black coat, hung it up next to an equally black smaller one and then tossed his keys in the bowl beside the door. He ran a hand through messy long black hair that came to frame his sharp features, ruffling it slightly as he let out a soft sigh.

Gamzee stepped into the open living room of the apartment he shared with his best friend, dark eyes glancing around at the empty state. He ran his tongue over his front teeth, tisking slightly as he turned to head down the dark hallway. He paused outside the door across from his own, waiting and listening for any sign of movement inside. When he heard none after a good five minutes he reached for the door handle. His brow furrowed when he twisted the knob to find it locked. That was never a good sign.

He pressed an ear against the door, eyes narrowing as he listened for any sign of life. He knew Karkat was home. The male wouldn't have left without his shoes plus the door could only be locked from the inside. Karkat was inside. Gamzee just had to find a way in. The male dropped to his knees, hand digging in his hair for a stray bobby pin that held his bangs back while he worked. He tugged it out, twisted it slightly and then shoved it into the hole of the door knob.

The door clicked after a few minutes sending a wide grin to spread over the male's handsome face. He pocketed the pin as he moved to his feet and pushed the door open into the dark room. The small light from the hallway illuminated the lump under black covers on the bed so Gamzee found his prey. He shut the door behind him, letting the room be cloaked in darkness once again before he shuffled over to the bed. The lump didn't even move making the male wonder if his friend was even awake.

With a shrug, Gamzee knelt on the bed and then slipped down to lay behind the lump. He curled his long limbs up enough to meld his body to the others and threw an arm over the lump. Said lump still not move so it was safe to assume the lump was asleep. Gamzee didn't mind. He just pulled the lump close against his chest, used his arm as a pillow and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Warm. It was so warm. Why was it so warm. Karkat growled softly, crinkling his nose as he tried to roll over. He soon found he wasn't able to do so and snapped his eyes open. It was dark so he couldn't really see all that much. He sniffed softly and brought a hand up to rub at his sore nose. Movement shifted behind him and he froze for a good few seconds. He clawed at the blanket, tugging it down to tuck under his chin so he could turn his head enough to see the body behind him.

A sense of relief filled him at the familiar mop of dark hair and sharply angled face. Air escaped his nose in a soft sigh as he curled up a bit more and pressed back against the body molded against his. A few streaks of sunlight were slipping through his dark curtains, enough to illuminate his room in a soft glow that made a scowl come to his face. Morning. Fuck morning. Morning meant a new day that he wasn't ready for at all.

Warm lips pressed to the back of his neck, causing his eyes to slip shut and his body to shiver slightly. "Morning." The gruff sleepy voice of his roommate sent warm breath over his pale skin as the other tightened the arm around his waist to pull him just a bit closer.

"Fuck mornings." Karkat grumbled softly, not bothering to push the other male away as he tucked a hand under his head.

Gamzee was silent for a few moments as he set to nuzzling his nose into soft curly dark brown hair, enjoying the few moments of calm the two would share before the storm. And they knew the storm was coming. It always would. Once Karkat broke in the silence. Because he always did.

"The fuck are you doing in here?"

Gamzee hummed softly, pressing his chin against the crook of Karkat's neck to peer into those dark rust colored eyes that were staring right back. "Your door was motherfuckin locked."

Karkat tensed slightly. "Did you... Gam did you break my fucking door again?"

"Nah, bro." He nuzzled into soft hair that smelled of some type of fruit.

Karkat shifted in his hold and tried to get a look at his door. But there was a large lanky body in the way that refused to move. "I swear to shitfuck Gam if you broke my door again-I fucking need that."

"I said nah, bro." He repeated, pressing soft lips to a slightly flushed cheek. "I pinned that fucker."

The smaller male visibly relaxed and returned to curling on his side. "Oh. Fine then."

A few more moments of silence in which Gamzee took his time in tugging the blanket Karkat was wrapped it. He managed to untangle his best friend and slipped under the blanket with him, pressing against a warm body that fit against his almost perfectly. Long fingers slipped over Karkat's stomach, leaving shivers in their wake as they slipped under his black sleep shirt. He tucked his chin in the crook of Karkat's neck, pressed cheek to cheek in a rather comfortable manner.

"Why was it locked, Kar?" Gamzee asked softly, his eyes slipping shut as he let his fingers press over soft skin slowly.

"I don't fucking know. Maybe cause I wanted to be left alone? Maybe cause I didn't want to deal with your crazy ass?" A nip to his jaw made him gasp softly. "Okay, fuck, fine. I didn't mean to. I was gonna unlock it before you came home but I passed out."

The taller hummed, long nails scraping over sensitive skin. "Still don't answer my question."

Karkat let out a soft growl. "Fuck, because I didn't want to be disturbed."

"Why?"

"Goddamnit Gam." Karkat pushed those teasing hands away from his stomach and managed to flip himself over so he could face the other male. A hand curled around his hip as he pressed both hands against Gamzee's chest, glaring up at him. "Can't you just leave it alone? Just this biscuitfucking once?"

The look he received was the only answer he needed. No. Gamzee would not leave it alone. Because he knew his best friend all to well. Karkat needed him. He needed to let it out and only Gamzee could handle it. It was a process. A process that repeated one too many times for Karkat's liking.

"Jesus fucktits." He grumbled, lowering his eyes to the dark-skinned neck mere inched away from his nose. He could see the head of a colorful twisted clown peeking out from the hem of Gamzee's shirt so he adverted his eyes to his collar-bone. Gamzee leaned forward, pressing his lips to soft hair as his hand slipped under Karkat, wrapping around his back to hold him just a bit closer.

They were silent for another few moments. Karkat gathered his thoughts while Gamzee allowed him to do so while his hands roamed over the warm skin of Karkat's back and hip. The touch left chills over pale skin that made the male press closer. Though the touches were intimate they were comforting for the smaller male as well. A type of comfort he really needed.

"Sollux broke up with me." The words fell from his lips like rocks that settled on his chest. His hands fisted Gamzee's shirt as he leaned forward to plunk his forehead against that sharp collar-bone.

"Why would he up and motherfuckin do that?" Gamzee's voice was soft as he lifted the hand from Karkat's hip to pet over soft dark curls.

"Because..." Karkat sniffed softly, hating how weak he felt. Hating how no matter what, Gamzee could break him down without much effort and get him to show everything he was feeling in the most pathetic ways. He hated it... But he needed it all the same. Gamzee was the only one to ever see him break and Karkat intended to keep it that way. "Because we don't work." The prickling of tears in the corners of his eyes made him snarl slightly as he pressed his face into Gamzee's collar.

"Hm? You were all up and motherfuckin happy last I checked. I miss something? Pretty fucking sure I didn't."

"You didn't." Karkat hissed, shutting his eyes tightly as his lips curled into a snarl. "We were fucking fine. Or I thought we were. But apparently, I'm too grubfucking much for that footfucking shitspewing asshole. So he broke up with me." His hands tightened in Gamzee's shirt as his teeth sunk into his lower lip. "Why does this keep happening to me?" He mumbled softly.

"Shhhh Kar, shhh." Gamzee ran his fingers through that mess of curly dark hair in soothing manner while his other hand rubbed over the warm skin of his back. "He's a motherfuckin idiot."

"Is he?" Karkat suddenly pushed back, glaring up at the other male with tear filled eyes. "This isn't the first shitfucking time this has happened to me Gam! Terezi, Eridan and now fucking Sollux?! Always the same grubfucking thing! They can't ' _handle_ ' me. What does that even mean?!"

"It means they ain't fucking worth it." The hand in his hair slipped down to cup his cheek. "They never motherfuckin deserved you to begin with if they can't take all of you."

Karkat hissed, baring his teeth at the other. "It means I'm a worthless piece of fucking trash that no one wants, Gamzee."

"You shut that fucking shit up right now." Gamzee hissed back, his dark eyes narrowing as his fingers curled around Karkat's neck. "We gotta go through this motherfuckin shit again? Cause I will. I'll say it every goddamn time Karkat." Karkat whimpered softly, closing his eyes tightly as a few stray tears slipped through. "You're motherfuckin precious. Best damn thing in this pointless world even if you don't think so." He pulled the other closer with the hand on his back and wrapped his other arm around him in a tight hug. "Fuck them all. Every single one of those bastards."

"Gam." Karkat whimpered softly, tears falling from his eyes as his body began to shake with the pain in his chest. "I can't..."

"I know, Kar, I know." He nuzzled into soft hair, his lips curling into a frown as he held his crying best friend. His eyes narrowed as he stared off at a space on the wall. "I know it motherfuckin hurts. Ain't the easiest thing to deal with. But you'll deal. I'm here. Always will be." He let out a faint sigh and pulled back, shifting his hands so both could come up to cup those rounded cheeks, thumbs brushing over tears as rust colored eyes finally glanced up at him. "Let me take away your pain."

Karkat didn't even bother to fight it when those lips pressed against his own. His eyes slipped shut, tears leaking out as his back arched and he pressed against those lips rather hard. The relief that flooded his body was a drug he needed so desperately. A warm tingling sensation that flowed through his lips to the tips of his toes. Fucking perfect.

Life would be so much easier if Karkat could just have Gamzee. It was something that came up more often than not. But they both knew each other too well. And they knew that no matter what, they would never work in a romantic relationship. What they had was special. A connection that ascended everything else in the universe. A connection that neither was willing to fuck up. They'd hurt each other before. Both bore scars, some physical, of how badly they'd hurt one another. Their friendship could survive things like that. But a romance? Not with Karkat. Not with how serious he took romance. Gamzee would break his heart and they both knew it. So they stuck with what worked. The strange friendship that helped both of them through the worst times in their lives. A friendship no one but they understood. And they were alright with that.

"Want me to kill him?" Gamzee mumbled against Karkat's soft lips, earning the softest of chuckles from the smaller male.

"Fuck no." He pushed against the others chest slightly to pull back, the tears gone but the pain still there. "I'm not gonna bail you out again."

"You wound me, Kar. I thought you motherfuckin loved me."

"I do love you, you motherfucking bulgesmoking assfuck."

"There's my Karbro." Gamzee grinned, pressing forward to nuzzle against soft hair.

Karkat pouted softly, his hands pressing against the others chest weakly. With the way his heart pounded in his chest, he knew he would be okay with Gamzee around. He would always be okay. Because it was Gamzee. And Gamzee would always be his painkiller.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hey, look at that. Another GamKar from me. These two kill me. Seriously. Out of all the pairings in Homestuck, be it pale, black, red or ashen, these two top. They break my heart over and over again but I always come back for more. 
> 
> Welp, let me know what you thought? Sorry if it sucked? I just had to write something to that song. I hope you listened to it. Totally Gamzee to Karkat. Totally.
> 
> Thanks for your time!
> 
> ~Addy~


End file.
